Relaciones que empezaron ardiendo de placer de a poco se enfrían. Nada cambió, pero ya no es lo mismo ¿cuál es el problema? ¿Cómo se soluciona?

Lo saben los que permanecieron el tiempo necesario junto a otra persona: la cama se enfría. No es una ley universal, es algo que suele suceder. Ella es la misma, él es el mismo, se siguen queriendo, se siguen deseando, pero el sexo no es el del principio. Ni siquiera hay que plantearse insatisfacciones serias. No estamos hablando de que el sexo es malo. Es que nada cambió, pero ya nada es lo mismo.

Es cuestión de cambiar. No suele ser fácil. Las revistas para mujeres están llenas de recetas para «condimentar» el sexo después del amor, pero suenan a tontería: no tenés ganas de sorprenderlo con un disfraz de satén, no tenés ganas de poner velas en la mesa, ni de llenar de espuma la bañadera. Uno realmente no quiere que en su cama se instale un invierno definitivo, pero tampoco quiere convertir su vida en un circo.

En general se aconseja diálogo, y por ahí la pareja dialoga, pero después sigue todo igual. La rutina sexual, aunque no sea tan rutinaria, no es fácil de cambiar. En general, es un ritual consensuado por años de experiencia compartida. Es el lugar al que ambos integrantes de la pareja llegaron en esa placentera y rarísima negociación del sexo que se cierra en un acuerdo que satisface a ambas partes.

Así que a lo mejor es cuestión de desarmarlo. A lo mejor es cuestión de no «consensuar tanto» un par de veces. Por ejemplo, que el sexo de esta tarde esté a cargo de él y lo que sus deseos manden. Ella, por esta vez, se va a callar la boca y va a acompañar. Deliberadamente así. Por supuesto, la próxima vez los roles se invierten y la que manda es ella, la que hace lo que quiere es ella y el que acompaña es él. Puede resultar interesante.

En principio, podemos averiguar de qué cosas tiene ganas el otro. Es más, podemos averiguar de qué cosas teníamos ganas nosotros mismos. Podemos averiguar si en realidad nos salta el egoísmo o si preferimos complacer. Podemos averiguar qué propone el otro si normalmente no propone nada. En fin, puede ser ilustrativo. El pie para introducir cambios importantes a un cercano futuro.

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